As I type we are hurtling through space and time into the unknown…
Okay – we’re actually driving across Nebraska on the way to a family reunion just south of Sioux City, Iowa. But – if we could get there via Tardis – we could have left about 15 minutes before we had to be there, instead of 8 hours before we wanted to arrive. #timesaver
This is eastern Colorado. People don’t realize that the whole state is not mountains. It’s not – in fact, about 60% of it is flat and boring. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
This is western Nebraska. Nebraska knows how to use the green in the crayola box. There’s more corn along I-80 than I ever remember seeing in my LIFE! The other crazy thing? it’s like there’s a line at the border that says “ok – this side is brown, and this side is green. They’re not afraid to use water in Nebraska, that’s for sure!
I was inspired to type, mostly because my kids have been really hilarious this whole trip – and some of their one liners deserve to be preserved for this blog.
First gem, “Nebraska is like Rifle, only a state.” Brought to you by my astute and sarcastic 16-year-old daughter, Madison. Rifle is a town near where we live – and it can only be described as….odd….. She’s right – BUT – Nebraska is pretty and has nice folks. That being said, there have been some weird things along the road. One was a rascal scooter clinging for dear life to the back of a Crown Vic.
Another was a guy who was such a terrible driver he’d pass us going 10 mpg faster, then we’d pass him going 15 mph faster. This went on from Sterling to about North Platte, Nebraska. It’s called cruise control, people. Use it.
The feed lot a few miles past the border with Colorado still stinks to high heaven. Blarf. I don’t know how those cows stand it.
Maddie also appreciates the nice-ities in the Nebraska road signs. Her particular observation? In Colorado the signs say, “Move Accidents from Road.” In Nebraska they say “Please move accidents from road.” Lesson? Say “Please.”
We drove under a GIGANTIC bridge in Kearney – but it didn’t have a road through it. Apparently you just walk up inside it? Not sure why you have to have such a HUGE bridge if the only thing going in it is people, on foot, but good Job, Kearney.
Please ignore the bugs that have committed suicide on our windshield this trip, we said a few words over their carcasses as we scraped them off in North Platte.
We stopped for a break at a little wide spot in the highway called …. I can’t remember. Anyway – it had a creek running by it, and my son, of course, observed a snake on the opposite bank. That’s my cue, time to get the hell outta Nebraska. The kids laughed and joked about putting a snake in my bed for about 20 more minutes before they figured out I wasn’t going to acknowledge them, then they stopped – SHUDDER! I hate snakes.
A big contrast from Colorado? There is NOT a Starbucks on the corner of cornfield and cornfield. We only saw a few from the highway along I-80. I’m not necessarily complaining here, just observing.
Biggest pet peeve of the whole trip to Iowa? The ROAD CONSTRUCTION! In most places where we were cut down to one lane in each direction, for at LEAST 5+ miles at a stretch – they weren’t even DOING anything to the roads. It was just…cones….no people, no work, no road damage. Hint – if you’re not doing any work, PICK UP THE DAMN CONES. Color me #annoyed.
The family reunion is awesome, but I haven’t gotten much work done. So after 3 days I’m a bit stressed about that. Seeing family is worth it though, I missed them more than I’d ever known I had – ‘specially my Daddy – who is more important to me than I think he’ll ever know. Which is why he needs to stop taking selfies while driving down the road!!
Love you big guy!
Here’s my Aunt Phyllis, Uncle Karl, Aunt Mildred and Aunt Ruth – about .05% of my Hartman family – there’s a gazillion of them!!
